Sunday, January 20, 2008

God, I'm drunk and conflicted. I feel like I should be about to get laid.

Ok, so, I'm really not in any shape to post something intelligent, etc. Anyone who's read the personal-personal blog will attest to the fact that when it gets late and I get a little (or a lot) drunk, I tend to get a bit maudlin (and typo-filled). Yay blogger spellcheck!

That said... tonight was a really excellent night. A bunch of random commenters/readers showed up and were as cool in person as they are on the site. I was hugged, a bunch, and for a single girl that was actually almost as cool as being able to come home to sleeping next to someone. I have had tons of people who don't know me email me with support and even more people join the HFA and email stuff to management and I'm incredibly flattered and in love with y'all and completely weirded out because it's like getting shitcanned made me even more public than joining Wonkette did and I was already emotionally conflicted about that (which meant my shrink made more money and good for her because she's awesome). I really spent a great deal of my adult life sorta trying not to be "noticed" and being noticed at all was weird and getting more noticed for getting publicly fired is this intensely weird moment of public vulnerability that I didn't expect or even really covet, but thank you to everyone who made me feel less naked by being supportive. It's like everyone held up a huge towel when I got pantsed in front of the high school and I can't imagine how I could ever thank everyone.

Okay, like I said, I might get a little maudlin when I drink. I'm still trying to get things to be somewhat linear in my head so that I can write it, and I appreciate the patience. It's strange to try to be honest about something that cuts really deeply in a short period of time, and it's hard to be able to line up my own thoughts because the situation is confusing enough on its own and then it's added to by my own emotional response. But, I'm trying. Maybe a few hours of that REM sleep will help. But, really, thank you. Y'all are lovely.

7 comments:

louisev said...

Have a good rest and we'll still be here tomorrow!!

coolingstar9 said...

Hi,
I am coolingstar9, i share with your feeling. sometimes i feel that i am in the state of think-ice, so cold and cool but occasionally i received warmth from readers, i feel great.
Hope you always happy in whatever you do.
I now dreaming that you will be able to give a comment on my blogs.
This is my immediate dream that i say it out, hope can come true.

Anonymous said...

Hi Megan. I missed all this when it happened and am just catching up now. I just wanted to wish you all the best, and to make sure you let us know what we can do to support you.

Best,

Unamerican

Anonymous said...

italia supports ya

BeRightBack said...

I'm so glad you had a good night. I was thinking about you last night too, up here north of the border, drinking raspberry Qu├ębec beer in your honor 'cause that's the type of fag I are. Hang in there, and I can't wait to see how you land on your feet.

--HFA loyalist

Nabisco said...

still pretty awesome scribe skillz if/while drunk, Megan.

Wish I could have joined the pub crawl, that must have been awesome.

-N

DWSUWF said...

Were there any pictures when you were Pantsed in high school. Just curious.