You know, sometimes you go out of your way to be nice to people because you want to take the high road. Actually, by that I mean: sometimes, I go out of my way to take the high road because I don't like making decisions I can't take back when I am emotional. Being a vicious bitch is often one of those decisions.
It was in that spirit when, when I was given basically no notice to write a goodbye to Wonkette readers that I wrote what I did: short, sweet, lacking in vitriol or even any information about why, and tried to use what I thought was a funny picture. When I got tons of emails and comments asking why it happened, I contemplated what to say and how to say it, and went the high road, describing Ken as "not a dick" and the decision as not motivated by sexism, Nick Denton or anything besides my ill-suitedness for the direction Ken wanted to take the site and even added that I agreed with his decision. When I was contacted for comment by HuffPo, the New York Times, Page 6 and BigHeadRob, I all but killed the story in every single instance when I could by saying that over and over again. I didn't encourage my readers or supporters to engage in the boycott or drive up particular comment threads, suggested that people should simply do what they thought best and spent the vast majority of my time attempting to find a new job while continuing to do a little writing.
This has, apparently, gone unnoticed, if this email from Ken to Jason (a.k.a., Homofascist) is any indication. For the record, I've never met Jason, didn't know him before I started at Wonkette and only have any relationship with him because I responded to his emails and comments and thought he was funny. That he (and the other HFA people and others) took my firing to heart was flattering, gratifying, unexpected and really humbling -- but it wasn't because this was a huge conspiracy of my close, personal friends or something.
But, for the record: I'm disgruntled? I exercised poor editorial judgment in leaving a classy "it was nice working for you" message to the commenters who -- by Nick Denton's own business model -- are an important part of the site? Me, who has defended Ken's decision in print and to other media types and anyone else who asked?
By the way, the Random House definition of disgruntled is: "displeased and discontented; sulky; peevish." I have described my firing as "personally devastating," but that's about it. I haven't sulked or been peevish, I've been forthright without acrimony or whining about the circumstances surrounding my firing and why it wasn't anyone's fault but my own that I took the job or outed myself or wouldn't fit into Ken's new direction. I haven't belittled him to anyone at Gawker, or bitched about him to his current employees. Being fired (as Ken has told people he knows) always sucks, but I picked my ego up off the floor, dusted it off and got on the job-search treadmill again 3 months into a new career.
But you know what I am, now? I'm mad.