I went out last night with my friend Rohit, who's always been a good shoulder. He was supposed to join us at the dinner/drinks that I brought to a close by being Debbie Downer but was late so he just picked me up and we went to our usual bar, which happens to be the bar at which he introduced me to John. John and I dated last year and he dumped me on my birthday, begged to work it out and then dumped me again when Wonkette fired me. Great guy.
Naturally, John was there because it was obviously going to be that kind of night. But since I arrived a few glasses of wine to the better and, oh, I don't know, hung up on more important things, I didn't notice him despite the fact that he was sitting on the patio next to the door. So he came in and stood directly behind me until I did.
He wanted to talk, of course, to "catch up" for the length of his cigarette. He told us he was smoking inside so that his date wouldn't see,because it was important that I know he was on a daaaate. I was like, yeah, my grandmother is dying. He took another drag, too confused by my non-caring about his date to speak momentarily. Rohit tried not to laugh.
He told me that his sick brother -- the ostensible reason that he didn't have time to date me -- was in the hospital and had been for a few days. I said, well, then, I guess that's why you have time to go out on a date, so that's good. He leaned into and over me to put his cigarette out in the ashtray behind me. He said, I felt like the last time we spoke it didn't end well. I said, it didn't, but that's fine. I wasn't even trying to be a cunt, but between having more important emotional crises and actually not caring anymore, I just said the first things to come into my head.
He went back outside to talk to his date. Rohit watched her yawn. I took phone calls about my grandmother from my sister and my cousin, outside on the street where I could hear and not be trying not to cry in a bar, walking by John and his date without even noticing that they were there until Rohit and I left. The bouncer hugged me as we were leaving, a big hug of the type you give an upset girl, while John watched and his date looked puzzled as to why he'd stopped paying attention to her. It's weird how you never notice that you don't give a shit until long after you do.