Saturday, July 26, 2008

An explanation

So, it's been kind of a long absence. I know.

My grandparents lived with my family for several years growing up. They're the only ones I've ever really known, and watching my grandmother being ill and my family lose its shit over that has been difficult.

I don't deal well with stress or emotional obligation, and I have been emotionally obliged and stressed and this was just one more thing I couldn't keep up with for a couple of weeks.

Also, Jezebel hired me on as a regular contributor, I went to Europe, some shit went down with one of my good friends, and on and on and on and some days I just wanted to walk away from everything. Some days I still do.

Anyway, so I'll try to be better. I'm trying to have my head a little more together. I'm trying to remember what it was like to be this age and be randomly excited by glasses and choose to wear them for a school photograph. To this day, this is one of the worst pictures of me ever taken. I hated it and I still do. But staring at it does me some good. This is where I started from.

7 comments:

Shannon said...

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I hope the Jezebel gig works out well for you. I think it must be weird and hard to be so much in the public eye, subject to the frothing gnashing incoherent monster that is Internet public opinion. I hope the other, kinder side of the Internet--random affirmations from strangers--can offer you strength and support. I really enjoy your writing and you seem like a good person with an uncommonly wise perspective on the world around you.

I have a picture a lot like that one, except I'm wearing gigantic smiley-face earrings that say "Don't Worry Be Happy".

wcg said...

Hey, it's good to see you back here. I've been following your posts on Jezebel and Glamocracy, so I knew you hadn't been eaten by wolves, but I'll confess I've been hoping you'd feel up to saying something here too.

It's a cute picture. Certainly one I'd carry around in my wallet if you were my daughter.

It's a hard thing, losing a grandmother who's meant a lot to you. I once hitchhiked from Camp Pendleton to Tucson for my grandmother's funeral. I wish to this day I'd gotten there in time to say good-bye.

Anyhow, welcome back.

Bill

T.Bob said...

It's nice to have you back here, in addition to your paid gigs. Sometimes the shit just gets deep;other times we can manage. Cheers!

T.Bob said...

Love the pic, by the way. Reminds of when I got my glasses and realized I could SEE the leaves on the trees.

Cynica said...

Glad to hear you got a full-time gig at Jez, though we miss you over at CP. Anytime you need people gushing all over you, drop by there. We're an easy crowd that loves their Mommy 1.0. Sorry you're having such a hard time. You've been in my thoughts.

rptrcub said...

Welcome back, dear. We've missed you. And congrats on the full-time gig at Jezebel.

SanFranLefty said...

Congrats on the gig. Isn't karma interesting how it works out?

No explanation needed, from following the Germany travels on Jez, it seemed like you were getting a much-deserved and much-needed vacay.

Come swing by CP and say hey to your fans. PromNight had some good food porn for us the last few nights, and you're close enough to Jersey to have him cook for you.

xoxo
SFL

P.S. Let me preface this by saying that I mean it in the most loving way: but after seeing that photo of you, I have an overwhelming urge to rent "Tootsie" - those glasses are classic mid-80s accessories! And I remember begging my mom for glasses like those in 1984 or so... ;-P