Thursday, October 30, 2008

Trolly McTrollster

As most people reading this probably know, Gawker Media blogs are comment-moderated. What you may not know is that "commenter auditions" are held in a dark backroom of Gawker Media offices by a lovely young woman (who I won't name but you know from a certain Party) who spends day after day reading through thousands of comments without context from the post and mostly hits "approve." Times when she doesn't include: all caps; gratuitous swearing (and that's a high bar); race-baiting; general crazy; or insults about the looks of the editor.

Tuesday, shortly after this post about Ms. Editor Elaine Lafferty went up, I received the following email.

date: Tue, Oct 28, 2008 at 3:17 PM
subject: Nice

So since your little site only allows comments from Obama supporters I'm just going to copy your little screeds to my own blog with your email address. Turns out I can be infantile, lest you thought the democrats and Jezebel bloggers cornered that. I hope you prefer that to a little dissent. What was the matter with that by the way, are your beliefs so wafer thin they just can't hold up? Pretty pathetic. Dirty hag.
You can imagine, I get these all the time. Whooo, scary. Whatevs. Per some advice from my friend Michael, I decided to respond.

date: Tue, Oct 28, 2008 at 3:32 PM
subject: Re: Nice

Bring it. It's called a "spam filter."

And our comments are moderated from afar by someone who basically doesn't let people post anything when the content limited to "you're ugly." Are your beliefs so wafer thin that you can't be bothered to write a coherent argument? Oh, wait, yes they are otherwise you wouldn't be anonymously threatening me.

Usually, this is the end of things with these kinds of people, mostly because they expect that you aren't reading and whatever. Or, you know, not.

date: Tue, Oct 28, 2008 at 3:38 PM
subject: Re: Nice

Right. There were points made, you choosing to dismiss them doesn't mean they weren't there. You and your sites entire argument is that not voting for Obama is racism. That's just so enlightened. But hey, comfort yourself with that - all the Bush bashing on your site 4 years ago paid off too, right?

I just hope McCain hosts a dinner for Davod Dukes this week so I can learn about Obama's suits.

You can't stand a differing view. It's ok. I understand.

First off, as previously stated, I don't see comments that didn't make it through the moderation process. And, as stated, I have nothing to do with it and don't even have access in the new comment system to do anything about anyone or any comment. But, we're bringing a little more of the crazy with the lack of appropriate punctuation and the David Duke reference. Lame.

date: Tue, Oct 28, 2008 at 3:53 PM
subject: Re: Nice

Dude, in 2004 I was an industry lobbyist, not a writer, and the site wasn't even a gleam in its founder's eye. It was founded in 2007. FAIL.

Yawn. Have more posts to write about how awesome and perfect our future President Obama is to convince that many more people to vote for him instead of your butt-buddy John McCain. So Audi.
For the record, I was consistently replying to the tips line for the laughter of all the other editors, mine included. I did, however, choose to ignore the punctuation and spelling errors as well as the racist reference for the sake of being like, fuck off.

Later, however, theis wingnut took except to the "Reader Roundup," in which my colleague Jessica chooses the best and worst comments of the day. Unsurprisingly, having spent a decent part of this election season being attacked for her Jewish heritage -- by no less than Fox & Friends -- she had her eye trained on a post I did about a Jewish Republican judge who sent out an "Obama hates Jews!" email. In that post, someone called "Turtle Girl" made several inappropriate remarks about racism, Ayers, etc., fought with commenters, earned first a disemvoweling from Hortense, then a banning (and, at 4:40 ET, a Worstie) all at about 2:30 in the afternoon, or 40 minutes before I got my first email from "Yertle." The Turtle. And here I thought it was all about my Lafferty post and moderation, given that from about 11:30 to 2:59, that was all I worked on (it's sort of an opus) and didn't even remember the Jewish post. Like, at all. But this is what Yertle the Turtle Girl had to say about earning her worstie.

date: Tue, Oct 28, 2008 at 4:49 PM
subject: Re: Nice

Edward Said never said he hated Jews? Megan, you are as ugly inside as you are outside.
Now, again, I didn't even see the Besties/Worsties until Yertle emailed me, let alone the comment thread that earned her her banning because I spent 3.5 hours ripping Elaine Lafferty a new asshole -- including trying to get a comment from Eleanor Smeal. I was fried, and this shit is just fucking stupid.

date: Tue, Oct 28, 2008 at 5:02 PM
subject: Re: Nice

First off, shit poke, learn to use the Interwebs and check the byline. You'll note that it's not my name. Also, dickweed, when it says "You say" that links to a commenter that said it, not me. And, FYI, cocksucker, the person that chose that comment to display is Jewish.

In finality, seriously, fuck off. Stop reading. We don't give a fuck. None of us, from Nick Denton on down. Go away. Enjoy your small, small little life. We all await the day your tiny, ill-informed head explodes.

Anna, notably, laughed so hard upon reading my missive that she snarfed her soda. One would think that this would scare someone off -- especially if she noticed that every other editor at Jezebel was reading it. But, nope, she goes straight back to calling me ugly and ups it to threatening me with violence.

date: Wed, Oct 29, 2008 at 10:37 AM
subject: Re: Nice

and in return; when the next 9/11 comes, I hope they find your ugly, ignorant ass first, you deserve nothing less - and yes, you are ugly. I saw you on Facebook. You have a face that could make a cat bark. No doubt that's why you are so pleasant.

Now, see, violence is where I get off the crazy train. Violence is where the police get notified, violence is where I note for her service provider's benefit that she's violating the terms of service and violence is where I go for the gusto.

And so, with that note I present to you, dear readers, Yertle The Turtle Girl, aka Erika James, who calls me "The Ugliest Girl That Ever Survived An Abortion" [since removed], aka Ari, or Ari, or Ari, aka Elana, 36, of Brooklyn, NY [now private, glad to know you're reading, Elana!]. On AIM, her profile lists one of her favorite quotes as:
Speak kindly and softly, tomorrow you may have to eat those words..

My lawyer and I will be checking into her more over the next few days, but, in the mean time, enjoy a selection of her MySpace photographs.

I mean, Elana, you told me to enjoy! And I did!


rptrcub said...

Good. God. WTF is her problem?

Cynica said...

Elana: The nice doctors gave you the meds because you need them. Please don't forget to take them again.

PoliticalPartyGirl said...

wow and the strange punctuation, and run on sentences; and lack of proper capitalization! just get worse - as she gets angrier.

Bowleserised said...

Soooo, her sum total "fact-filled" "politically sophisticated" argument is that she doesn't find you attractive?

No wonder the GOP is ahead in the polls!

Oh, wait.

Nefarious Newt said...

Well, for starters, she's a Yankees fan... coherent arguments are not usually part of their repertoire.

Secondly, her argument style is classic "My Dad can beat up your Dad." Zero points for originality.

Thirdly, it always ends that way, doesn't it? When appeals to reason and logic fail, simply threaten someone and they will see the light.

The Internet has given the kooks, race-baiters, and "rocket scientists" a voice, and their spokesperson is a turtle.

Philthyist said...

Hooly. She's REAL! And she's mad at you for MY COMMENTS!

Sweet jaysus, Megan.

Her personality is severely lacking.

Groovymarlin said...


Thanks Megan, I really needed a laugh like that today. I feel positively refreshed.

Anonymous said...


And careful, she apparently knows all the words to "Heathers"

wobblie said...

Wow. I'd say her blog is craptastic, but that would be an insult to bowel movements the world over.

At any rate, I hope Erika is still enjoying second grade.

Spencer Ackerman said...


Threat Quality Press said...

I remember her. She was the one that thought Obama was part of the secret Arab skeeball conspiracy.

Anonymous said...

fyi, she took her blog down!

AnnoyingFemaleLeadVoiceover said...

Red flag number 1: an aol email account.

Scott Lemieux said...

The trolling/stalking is one thing, but being a Yankees fan is unforgivable...

Ryan said...

@ PPG: Don't make her angry, you wouldn't like her grasp of English when she's angry.

Rebecca said...

Motherfucking 36 and she is pulling this shit? Truly tragic.

TheUptightMidwesterner said...

Funny..she looks sane! I resent that she took Yertle the Turtle and shit crazy all over it.

randall said...

megan, you shut that bitch DOWN

SanFranLefty said...

tee hee hee....

well done, Detective Megan.

Anonymous said...

Megan that was hilarious!

Grimjack said...

pwnd. i am now so totally a fan :)