Friday, March 6, 2009

Drunky McDrunkster over here

There are, I swear, a few differences between my behavior and that of the New York Times drinking blogger Anna Fricke.

I always claimed that I could hold my liquor. I was lying.

But to admit that I was dizzy and inappropriate after a few drinks would belie my German/Irish/English heritage, my Guy’s Girl persona, and my profession as a writer. Despite a few debacles (a sullied car or two, the suggestion that we have sex when, in fact, we already had) I persisted in behavior like downing shots with the 23-year-old at work, or worse, drinking with actors. Such hardy drinking resulted in my husband wisely escorting me out the side exit of many establishments, but I refused to be ashamed.
For one, I don't have a husband. Also, I have no German heritage. And, um, I haven't puked in a car since college, and I haven't puked out of a car since grad school, though I was close last March.

Because in the good old days, I would have had at least half a bottle [of wine] by myself and would have started slurring non-sequiturs to my husband in the middle of “Damages.”
Once again, no husband. Also, I don't really watch TV (certainly not at the moment, as I have neither a television nor a cable hook up). Also, I usually drink an entire bottle of wine before I start slurring, and non-sequiturs are basically the basis of most conversations with me. Well, and the whole piece is about drinking and having a kid which I definitely (thankfully) don't have.

Anyway, all of this is to say that somehow, I need to figure out how to get hired to blog for Proof. I'll even drink this Unicum shit if it helps.


PoliticalPartyGirl said...

I'll be a reference for your application to "Proof." I think I've witnessed enough drunken antics and heard plenty of stories to declare you quite qualified for the job.

SanFranLefty said...

The "Proof" blog fascinates me with all of teetotalling (spell?) commenters who get on and if the person blogging admits to have ever had more than one cocktail in their life, comment about how horrible the writer is for touching the evil fire liquid and their life is ruined.

You would make their heads explode. I'd love to watch it. I would pay for access to that entry.

And I don't want to know what "Unicum" - something related to President Unicorn?