Monday, March 9, 2009

Recommendation #1

This comes from my friend Wobblie who I would never, ever call "second-rate." I'd call him awesome, actually. And I'd drive to Connecticut and even New Jersey to hang out with him.

I've never dated Megan. In fact, I'm quite happily married, and as such, I think I maintain a certain amount of credibility as an "objective observer." And this objective observer would totally hook Megan up with a friend. Allow me then, dear reader, to humbly suggest why you should date Megan Carpentier.

1. She's hot: Let's face it, anyone can look good. But Megan's not only got the good looks, she's also got the smarts and confidence to back up the looks. She's what the kids are calling the "total package," if, in fact, that's what the kids are calling things these days. Which I wouldn't know, because the kids don't particularly let me in on their hip lingo. But total package will work.

Oh - and the tits. When Megan brags about her tits, she's not lying.

2. She has a dirty mouth: And dirty mouths are evidence of dirty minds. Megan talks dirty about the appropriations process. Just imagine how she talks about things that get guys going. I think you know what I'm saying here.

3. She's cool: So you've been invited for a night out at the bars with your friends, and your girlfriend wants to tag along. You're naturally horrified because this means either a) she'll make you leave before things start to get real fun or b) she'll yell at you in the morning for getting completely shitfaced. Let's be clear: Megan is not that chick. In fact, I'm pretty sure Megan can drink you under the table.

4. She's genuine: If you're not totally sold by now, here's the clincher. Megan had no reason to randomly meet up for drinks with me, a second-rate commenter/blogger a year-and-a-half ago, but she did, and we struck up a friendship. Despite being incredibly busy and something of a rising star in her field, she's taken the time to cultivate that friendship. I have no doubt that if I were in her neck of the woods and needed to hang out with someone, she would totally find the time to make sure we could get together for a few hours. And I'm just a casual friend. Imagine the devotion if she were to fall in love with you.

So there's the quick and dirty list about why you should date Megan. One caveat, however - if you do her wrong, we will find you, and we'll be sorely tempted to beat your ass. We probably won't, because we're generally nice people (you should ask Megan about us!), but we will mock you mercilessly. Because Megan inspires that kind of devotion in us. Okay, so go on and ask her out already!

1 comment:

wobblie said...

I'm a good enough friend that I'd never make you drive to New Jersey to drink with me.