Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Sheryl Crow is always singing about my ex

It's a weird thing to say, but the streets of the boroughs were abandoned when I drove home late last night. It couldn't have even been that late, since my phone indicates I drunk dialed a friend at 12:30 just to talk and not say anything of import -- maybe everyone was just holed up in bars still.

As I was pulling into my neighborhood and searching for parking that I'm hoping didn't get me ticketed or towed today (must check!), this came on my iPod (set to Shuffle) for the first time in ages. I probably sang along to this a bunch in the summer of 2003, but haven't really listened to it a ton since then. It's funny to think of the way I was that summer, sloughing off the end of an unhappy relationship, getting involved in a time-wasting and inappropriate rebound, making all these plans for how my life would go. It's strange to be living with a roommate again for the first time since then, negotiating space, waking up to sunlight coming from that direction again, viewing my life like some new adventure yet with way more emotional detachment than I feel like I ever mustered up when ironic detachment was cool instead of a state I don't really remember how to get out of anymore.

Before I left my friend in good hands last night and drove home, I got a text from someone that I really care about who still doesn't think I should have moved away. So this lyric caught me more than normal, I guess. I don't really leave that often.

Lay your head down on my bed, please don't ask me why.
Why am I leaving? Why don't I know?
Something deep inside me is forcing me to go
You say you need me, but you can't tell me no.
And when I ask you to stop me, baby, you just let me go.

1 comment:

Jack said...

Bob Dylan said it earlier, and just as well (although I love me some Sheryl Crow):

You say you love me
And you're thinkin' of me,
But you know you could be wrong.
You say you told me
That you wanna hold me,
But you know you're not that strong.
I just can't do what I done before,
I just can't beg you any more.
I'm gonna let you pass
And I'll go last.
Then time will tell just who fell
And who's been left behind,
When you go your way and I go mine.