I guess I don't have any questions I would put to her. I never really ask "Why?" anyway.
I took a really interesting class once called Microsociology, which was the study of discrete human interactions -- completely mind-bending and fascinating. One of the things we were asked to think about the fundamental basis of being asked to give a reason. One is only asked to provide a reason for one's actions only when those actions differ from an established social norm (unless your reason for doing something in the first place is to differ from the established social norm). In effect, you are asked to justify behavior you, at the time, believed completely normative. You only, therefore, ever come up with a reason after the fact. To ask why she did it is just to ask her to put into words some post-action understanding that what she did differed from the social consensus -- i.e., to give an excuse. I don't need her excuse.