Sunday, May 10, 2009

The world doesn't revolve around your personal feelings

Life is cruel, brutal, ugly and, for too many people, really short. Most everyone reading this is lucky enough to spend theirs in a developed country with access to nearly everything that civilization, society, science, stable governments and money has to offer. Bearing witness to what happens to other people when they lack access to those things -- rather than looking at pictures on CuteOverload all day, say -- really is the least anyone can do.

(Also, for people that constantly say that I write about FGM, rape, women in developing countries, politics, abortion and the ugly things that go on in the world for the money, I don't know what fucking universe you live in, but I'd sure as hell like to go there because I write about vibrators, porn, dating and celebrities for the money, not serious things that no one wants to read about or bear witness to. And I'd be more than happy to never write about vibrators, porn, dating or celebrities again if I could write about important things and actually make any money.)


Anonymous said...


Delurking to say something that is largely based in my personal feelings so please forgive me. I'm making a rather large assumption that this is related to the Stillbirth post on Jezebel.

I had a stillborn baby. The photo would not have upset me, and while I can't speak for other mothers in my position, the ones I know would not have been distressed either. We see dead baby photos all the time.

I came too late to the post to contribute because the comments had been disabled. I left you a message on your Jezebel profile to the effect that the thing I find upsetting about this particular instance is that the outrage over the photo completely overshadowed the post and the opportunity for discussion was not taken up.

I understand and share your frustration. Thank you for trying to raise awareness of the high rate of stillbirth in developing countries. It is a travesty that so many women and their babies are left at risk when even the most basic pre-natal care could dramatically improve their situation.

Kim B. said...


Hi. I'm "phoebe.caulfied" on Jez. Like the other commenter to this post, I'm assuming that it had something to do with your stillbirth post on Jez last Friday. If I'm wrong, my bad.

The post is still with me. Or, rather, the uproar over the picture. It got to me in a way that few things do. I had a strong reaction and I shared it. Maybe that was a mistake.

Rather than trying to explain what I was getting at more coherently, let me simply apologize. I look for your posts in particular on Jezebel because I know they will be thoughtful and important. I still disagree with using the picture because I think it swallowed the message, but it was wrong of me to suggest that it was just for the purpose of generating pageviews. Friday afternoon, visceral reaction, etc.

All the best,